being a part of something

"i know that i dont have the most important job in the world.. but i work in a place that helps people and i always thought that i would be a part of it" - the janitor (scrubs season 5 )

the time that i was watching that episode..

i understood what the janitor whats trying to say…

cause i relate on whats he is talking about

i sometimes felt that way…

you know… but not for my job  or anything…

but for who i am..

i (for my opinion) am an outcast even in a small chat… i can see how my friends goes away slowly until the are all gone…. how the topic of our small talk fades away… how am i being dumped…

i sometimes think how about in college

am i gonna be this same old loser that all ways been left behind..

i really feel that i am nothing…

the only chance that i have been looked forward to is when i do something for them  lets say that im leading a project.. but what about the little things …

there are times that im telling my self … what if there wouldnt be me … what if i do not exist… will things go in the same…

 
and in the end i see something…

that every thing will change if i do not exist.

the hope for someone…

someone who will find me as an entertaining person

at the end of the day

its good having been rejected by others

cause someday

that rejection

would  be my strength

maybe…

and as i write this peice of someting

i thought

how could i ever thank my friends 

and on the second thought

would they notice

well then…

too much of that 

i guess i know now…

 in someway or another you will be a part of something

just like me being a part of your life 

have a nice day

keep on shinning.