a letter to heaven

hi bembem
sana kung nasan ka man… pakabait ka aaa…
wag na umihi pag naeexite…
pero kahi nmn sandali lng tyo nagkasama love na love kita…
naalala ko pa nung binawi kita sa kanila…. kasi nmn ee pabayaan ka ba nmn daw sa ulanan…di ata ako papayag!
hay sana parati mo nlng ako bantayan…nandito ka lng parati sa puso ni kuya…
i love you
ingat dyan sa langit aa
pa hi nalang sa mga angels dyan tsaka kay GOD…
mamimiss kita parati

lOVE,KUYA…
see you in heaven

when you try to find happiness in the midst of nowhere

when everyone is in pain, would you be the one who bare all their problems?

when everyone cries for help, would you be there to help? even if you are the one how needs it badly

when smiles are needed in the most depressed situations would you be there to offer one?

. maybe thats life’s toughest challenge

to be someone who pretend that you are stong even if your not… happy even if  your sad…. and be with your self when you need someone the most…. how prejudice life can be… harsh if i may add.

when everything seems to fade away

i always lived in a world full of what ifs… i always think of the outcome of things

i wouldn’t boast because others would think that i am trying hard to fit and all those sorts of thing…

just lately i realized something

for this i have to think

all my life i only go with people i like

those people that appreciate me  on who i am really

though calling them as friends it doesnt feel like one

 i really dont know what friends really are

not until now

summer classes over

and  in to another pain

i hate goodbyes, as i always say

true… most likely if its a goodbye that really means goodbye kinda thing

a goodbye that will make me change my daily routine

a looser maybe but its just the way it seems to be

now that they matter to me

they had gone to somewhere

when everything seems to be perfect

why does the dAy ends

when everything seems to be falling in there right places

why does it always have to be a destruction

why is it that when i have someone to care about

the just slip away

just like a sand that you grip in to your closed fist

this time its full and in the other

its half empty

that is why sometimes

i tend to hate life

and all the more i hate life 

it just throws back at me

it will just make me hate myself much more

why didnt i just learn

its always like this

keep on shinning

:) 

GOD BLESS

sorry

im just me

when the eagle flew(not a very good title….)

            Nothing is more amusing than thinking, that was Bogs’ belief. As always, he wanted to be alone, to think about love, friendship, and life over and over again. Somehow he managed to get out of the intricate pathway of being alone, if not for her; he would not see the vivacious brightness of a new day.

            I am BOGS…

            I became reasonably quiet, to be in a place where you do not know even a single person, a week have passed and still, no acquaintances. California is definitely not my Philippines, where in I built the greatest part of my life; I wouldn’t be here if not for my mom. Mom was assigned here by the company she is working for, they are going to open a new branch here and mom will be the manager of it.

             A new house, new car, and a new computer: nice to have though, but memories that had been seeded in our house at manila, abandoned. After unpacking all of my stuffs to their respective places, I picked my portable hard drive out of its box and plugged it in my computer to transfer them. It took some time to transfer those files so I opened Firefox, I browsed over the net; Friendster, Facebook, multiply, and my i-blog. No one seemed to miss me, or even just hi or those kind of stuffs- it made me sad.

The transfer is finished, I scanned some of my files then I noticed something that wasn’t mine, I opened it, it was chen’s and it goes “ I’m not sure if you’ll see this but I just want to take all my chances. PLEASE ALWAYS CHECK ON YOUR EMAIL” at the last part of the document are the words I least hear from her – I love you, please take care, for me J <3.

After reading that document, I switched to the Firefox window, created a new tab and opened my email account. To my surprise there are several unread messages and it was all from her. I don’t know but something forced me not to open them and wait until tomorrow. I didn’t noticed, it is already nine in the evening so I turned the computer off and sat on the couch to go over some of my thoughts.

Ideas overflowed within me, the question ”why?” turned up in my mind, always why.

My eyes became heavy. I did not notice that I am starting to sleep. Darkness started to envelope my eyes, and I… I began to dream. The sky was dark, very dark, same as the grass and the flowers, the trees, they looked dead and weltered- everything seemed to be lifeless. I took a step, all that my eyes can see soon regained life - the dark sky became blue; the wilted grass, flowers and the trees began to acquire its vivid colors. I looked around, everything is so fresh, the dull and dead surrounding earlier became young and alive this very moment. It made me more human, refreshing I can say.

From where I was standing I can see a big old banyan tree. Beneath it is a rock where in an eagle is taking its rest. I came closer to where the eagle is, it did not move as if it was implying to me to come closer, fast.  The eagle has something in its foot, a scroll, that’s what it is. I sat down beside the eagle, a few moments past, it flew and circled up in the sky. The eagle left the scroll on the stone, it had a red ribbon. I picked it up, undecided on what shall I do with it, should I leave it or open it? That ruled my head for quite a short while.

Curiosity - the force that made me open it. My heart started to pound very hard which made me catch my breath. I untied the ribbon and put it in my pocket, gently untwined it flat. I first saw a symbol, it is somewhat familiar to me, then a phrase  “EL AMOR ES LA RIQUEZA, EL ES QUE REALMENTE NOS HACE FELICES.” That phrase made me remember everything, as far as my memory can recall, I encountered it a year ago before my Dad died. It was at Sto. Rini, Greece, in one of the statue, I suppose. Something pushed me to stand,I looked around and noticed that the eagle was gone. I searched for it in the vast blue sky, did not care to be blinded by the striking light from the sun. North, south, and east; there were no signs of an eagle.As I started to lose hope, I slowly turned and faced west and there it was. I ran towards west where the eagle was leading to.

All that is inside my mind was that phrase and that symbol, all of these made up one question, WHY?

My legs  started to get weary as I tried to catch up with the eagle. I fell on the ground, got tangled with by the vines that grew on the ground, my tears came falling, I thought it was my chance of unfolding the questions on my mind will be left un answered, but then again, I am wrong.

I cannot move, My body is so tired to move. Suddenly, a gush of wind blew, dust obstructed my vision. As my vision cleared out, I saw something I least expected - it was the eagle. It perched beside the stream of flowing water. Hope shown on my weary faith, energy went back to my body. I managed to sit and noticed that the reflection of the eagle was quite peculiar. No it’s not peculiar, it is strange. It looks like a reflection of a human, a girl. I tried to recognize it but I cannot, she just look so much familiar. Another second past then I heard a voice, closer and closer, then a whisper, “ WAKE UP”

I opened my eyes , I was shocked, it was mom staring at my face closely. “MOM!!!! What are you doing? I would have dead!” I said in shock. “Nothing, you look just like your Father. Oh! By the way you have a letter, its downstairs on the table near the phone,” She said. She got up and went out of the room. I stood up from where I was sleeping and turned the computer on and opened my email account. There were even more messages than last night, I opened the most recent one and it only said “ REPLY ASAP”

I was surprised with the amorphous message that she sent, I just replied with a question, “why? What is the problem.” I got on my feet and went downstairs. I called on mom but I suppose she went to her work already. I made my breakfast and walk upstairs, I noticed that there was an envelope beside the telephone, maybe this is the letter that mom told me. I brought it to my room to read it. I finished my food and opened the tightly sealed letter.

HI!

            How are you? Hope you’re doing fine, and please be safe,  for me J

                                                                                                            Yours truly

                                                                                                                        Chen <3

I was overwhelmed by the letter, but at the back of my head, why send a snail mail if the internet is present. I was about to go out of my room to take a bath but the doorbell rang. I dropped my towel and rushed to the front door.

There were screeching sound of wood, probably that is from the wooden floor of the porch.  It continuously screeched until I heard something falling. I opened the door fast as I saw a girl about the same age as me, and she is lying on the steps of the stairs. something came in contact with my foot and it was a ball, the one that I wanted to have for a long time. Then I remembered that I should help the girl. I went down on my knees, I noticed that her shoelace was stock between the planks, I removed it. I walk down the stairs and lifted her and made her sit on the last step of the stairs. I realized that it was chen, I didn’t know she was here. I don’t know when and how she got here, but all I know, this is destiny.

I sat down beside her, lay her head on my shoulder. The warmth of the ten o’clock morning  soon is replaced with the coldness of the snow. Then I heard her voice, “ In my dream there was a boy running after me.  I don’t know why but he looked eager to catch up with me until he got caught by the vines. I went back, it’s quite frustrating because after that, I woke up,” she said,  “that dream made me follow you here.” I smiled and said “ maybe you dream is a part of mine, but as the circumstances shows, I was the one who flew west and you came running after me…… and now that you are here, I would never again let go of you.”

i am…. im just missing me

a year has passed and as i jump through sites i didnt noticed that what about mine….

i met music first then writing comes next

and today photography hunts me…

i never thought that it was kinda hard to be all of those at the sametime

but just now i realized… its not

i always say that i am good in waiting… just like my dog i always wait, for love and for someone….

as i stare in the depths of blankness i was enlightened that my passion… they waited for me to get back… 

as i float back to the surface from the entangling path of darkness, with a yearning passion, i learned that what God has given me should work in harmony

i should write  again

i am writing now  

eventhough its nonsense… these are one of the few post that i wrote in the context of myself

i am happy to be back 

good day 

KEEP ON SHINNING

when i sigh

hindi ako alam kung pano sisimulan i mean nobody cares on how the hell im gonna start digging this “kamote” of mine seeded in the depth of that uncertain valley in my mind. nobody seem to care on what im feeling, maybe i know why im feeling like this, and maybe its beacuse its february.

i never loved someone like her, and she never loved me the way she loved him. as of today, i do not wear italy(the ring) anymore, not because it is being prohibited by the school but maybe i just want to take a step forward,

sabihin man nila na tatanga tanga ako kasi iniintay ko pa sha hanggang ngeon, maisip ko man na im wasting the precious time that God has given me, i would still wait,.

 sana sa muling pag buntong hininga ko hindi na ang “kamote” na ito ang pinoproblema ko coz every time i bring this up inside my head the only thing that i would do is to sigh a very deep sullen sigh,

maybe….

i dont know where could this feeling of mine can take me…. nothing is really the same but not my passion for writting. maybe its just my outlet… maybe its just where i could say not whats in my mind but whats inside my heart… today as i write, is already christmas. i know this day is good enogh of me to write about something, and as always it is about love and how im such a fool for it. i dont know what got into my nerves for me to opent that post for my ex’s current(i am sooooo inlove with her)that i have to read it all. my heart shattered, i know i do not have any rights to separate them but i know deep inside she loves me to and from the fact that somehow she loves me , it gave me a strenth to fight, to live.

i am writting about something….and is definitely not like this i dont knoew hot to continue it so i am reading it again and again then i noticed , indirectly it was my story, and i am here again to love tim gonna bring her back to my arms…. and maybe…………………………………

just maybe……………………. she will be mine again

i do not know…. my heart… its weary

for a long time my heart didnt dare to beat… i know it grew tired …i know, i just know.

i have waited a long time for it to beat again, i tried to force it but it just wont. 

sometime this year, almost recently, it started to beat again; to love again, being aware that life, it is really short, realizing that maybe sooner or later , we’ll die.

i dont know if it is wrong to be inlove with someone you have loved in the past specially when you know that she has someone,someone much greater than me.

every night, i ask my self why am i not like him, why cant i be the one that she’ll love and all. 

my heart… its crying, wishing that they’ll be separated . 

my heart…. as i can feel , is weary , and i hope that it wouldnt stop beating just like before 

and just now i realized , its the same person that made me love and made me halt 

sana sakin na lng  xa   i love you

keep on shining

different but great

to help someone is really a good thing to do  but i what i have just experienced is way more than feeling good !!! i mean, for someone to approch you! doesnt that feel great? 

She needed someone…. even if i know there are others who are helping her i feel way different coz i think before i enter college it would be heard to deal with others but i proved it wrong! 

it is such a rush! 

in high school i didnt feel that i belong ! 

but

now in college its a lot different

even though it has ben almost a month but i feel something that draws us all together

i cant just explain the whole tihn but its just different

maybe ill change the way i think 

coz its not always hard

and not allways easy

i will just have to go with the flow 

good day

keep on shinning

missing something (damn!!)-*FLICK*

hayyy  i missed out somthing for the for the world!!! damn!!

well this post will not be as CHEEEEEESSSSSYYYY as the ones i have wrote before!! 

but i missed the birthday of my classmate which happen to be the one of my closest friend…..

ohhhh i feel sorry for my self, imagine this would be the last time that we would be seeing each other and  i did just let it pass!! come on!!

but i wish that Chad and my clasmates will forgive me for that ….. (by the way i always sleep at 3-4 am thats why im tired the whole afternoon ) im really sorry 

dreams full of hope

…what is life without a dream…

can you imagine that?

without dream there is no technology…

all you can see now a days will be gone if we did not learn how to dream!

everything is a state of mind..

cause dreams are!!

(whether its a dream when your sleeping

or a dream that pushes you to be someone,)

and LOve is!!

 (for me )

i have so many dreams

and im afraid that i will not accomplish them all

im afraid that i will just mess up the opportunities that may come my way

what will it be if i would let go of my dreams..

will i get any farther in life?

will i succeed ?

or will i just loose it all

i guess if id let go of my dreams….

i will get rid of my future

ill just waste everything

and maybe!! dreams is one of the things that makes you take a step in your long way journey.,,

dreams fills your heart with hope and maybe..,,

in just achieving one of my many dreams

i may fulfil all those that is not..

and maybe someday well all stop dreaming for our selves

but start to dream for others

for others to dream for their own!

Have a nice day!!

keep on shining

:) 

.

.

being a part of something

"i know that i dont have the most important job in the world.. but i work in a place that helps people and i always thought that i would be a part of it" - the janitor (scrubs season 5 )

the time that i was watching that episode..

i understood what the janitor whats trying to say…

cause i relate on whats he is talking about

i sometimes felt that way…

you know… but not for my job  or anything…

but for who i am..

i (for my opinion) am an outcast even in a small chat… i can see how my friends goes away slowly until the are all gone…. how the topic of our small talk fades away… how am i being dumped…

i sometimes think how about in college

am i gonna be this same old loser that all ways been left behind..

i really feel that i am nothing…

the only chance that i have been looked forward to is when i do something for them  lets say that im leading a project.. but what about the little things …

there are times that im telling my self … what if there wouldnt be me … what if i do not exist… will things go in the same…

 
and in the end i see something…

that every thing will change if i do not exist.

the hope for someone…

someone who will find me as an entertaining person

at the end of the day

its good having been rejected by others

cause someday

that rejection

would  be my strength

maybe…

and as i write this peice of someting

i thought

how could i ever thank my friends 

and on the second thought

would they notice

well then…

too much of that 

i guess i know now…

 in someway or another you will be a part of something

just like me being a part of your life 

have a nice day

keep on shinning.

how hard life is…how hard to see that life is hard

last night i saw a dog roaming in the street….looking for food( I suppose) it just so happen that theres a big heap of garbage near the road…. i finally figured out that im right… the dog was hungry… the dog searched the garbage eagerly… i took a picture of it(ill upload it later..)…. it looks like the dog didnt eat for about a 2 days…

then something flashed in to my mind…

i asked my self …. how hard is life?

is it that hard to earn a living…

im trying to figure the answer out…

then i said…

"maybe the dog was just unfortunate"

but what if im the one that is unfortunate.. 

will i survive??

 im just wondering

why am i afraid to live like that??

i mean … is that normal??

how about you … would you feel the same?? 

 is it that hard to see that life is hard…???

maybe it is confusing but for me it is hard…

lets just put it this way…

(i just realize this just right now )

no matter how hard is life

 or how hard to see that life is hard

 we just have to see and feel  

that life is great!! and life is beautiful

i think that would compensate  

all the things that  blocks the light in your sight

to see life in a lighter note

and to live life to the fullest!!!!

Keep ON ShInNiNg!! 

sometihng about nature[frustrations}{pictures}(a day at bulacan)

                we went to bulacan(i dont know where exactly on bulakan>>) to surprise my tito for his birth day!! hehe luckily he was surprised!!! we went there for an outing… can you imagine a resort in the middle of the ricefields!!! it was a nice experience with all the good food(its not just good but its very very good!!) that mommy cooked for us~!!!(buti nalng may swimming pool kung hinde !!! nde ko matitikman lahat sa kabusugan!!) these are some of the pictures that i took from the place…

this took my attention when i was waiting for my turn in the videoke, this is the capiz lamp at the recepttion , i was surpriced coz there were so many lizards taking refuge inside!!! with their silhouette that you can see through the shells.

 i cant just tall how nature can really amaze us

just sharing!!

a day of questions

earlier this morning

we went on a radio interview…

yup!!! my voice are heard through the airwaves!!

but!!~~~ its a radio interview in an AM station !!!.

hehe we promoted our school and the upcomming youth festival "08 on may 8-11

at benguet state university(baguio)

its not that long but its quite an experience..

if youll imagine.. a 16 y/o boy having an interview in a radio station!!!

the thirty minutes of interview

a super cold booth!!

two enthusiastic  host

and 3 interviewee

what a combo!

i thought it was hard to answer all that questions!

i thought it would be as hard just like you are being interrogated by police men..

but its not… as a mater of fact its fun!!!

its kinda like impromptu!!!

nothing like a graded recitation at school!!!

and you will never get those failing grades just like teachers gives to you !!!

hahahah!! pretty fun!!

but i hope i could go to baguio…

very well then!!>>

happppppppy reading!!

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some of my so called obsession

im a frustrated photographer heheh

hehe i dont think im good at this but im trying my best to improve this hobby of mine

how about a peep to some of them heheh

 this are the pictures that i took at batanggas

i took it on my way to the bus when i was wlaking down the beach hehehe i just pushed the shutter 

and took all the pictures that i can store

yan na sila

beginner palang po ako…

jejeje

im kinda shy to publish this pictures coz im afraid

that someone might say somthing bad about it…

starting a new one without forgeting this one….

yes thats right…

im starting a new one
ye another blog!!! but that doesnt mean i will abandon ths one…

i just want to challenge my self about posting…but not just posting with nonesense but to challenge myself to produce more posts with sense

from the past days ive been learning on how to improve my writting skill(un yon!!! as if meron!!)

heheh tnx to all of you!!

if your thinkin why didnt i create a new blog here a t i..

it is because at blogspot you can customize the theme of your blog…

yes i know my blog here and there is not much…

but i like it that way

i mean what is the sense of having a

blog of your own by being the same with others..

or by following what others wants for your blog diba??

hehehe just think…

!!!…!!!…!!!..!!!

hehehe

by the way

sorry for the word ahh!!!

yes you… you know who you are!!

tnx again 

something to remember

something would be missing if we will not be having some time to make some picture perfect moments……

yes!!! your right we are a certified picture addict!!!.

we just like reminising moments that cannot be brought back again….

we love memories… thats for sure

once, we thought that "what if there is no digital cameras yet… what if there are only those polaroid cameras that shoots and prints on the spot

for sure we should have spent 10x the price of what we spent with our digital printing hehehe

we love pictures

thats no doubt

coz we. The batch 2007-2008 IV St. joSEPH believes that

only memories and memories alone

are the only things that do not change…

and we capture memories by the means of pictures 

how colorful is my header???!!!!

did you see my header… ….                                                                                                                                                                                yup!! the one that holds the quote and the title of my blog

                 its from my lens…right outside our house… i just slid my cybershot(my fone is a s.e cybershot) out of its pouch  and click the shutter… it was around 2 am… no wonder its so dark… only the light from our house(which is behind me when i was taking the picture) that lit the place…. well the light from our house is not enough to illuminate the space so there was entire darkness…

when my flash illuminate the area for just a sec. you can see nothing but the place but as you can see here

(this is the real picture)( this is the same picture that i used sa header ko) i used the upper right corner of the picture

there are so many fog like objects foating in thin air!!! hHAHAHAHhaahaha yup these are orbs   if you dont know what im talkig about just search my blog post " orbs please!!!!"

back to the topic….

i made this picture my header and i am surprised by their colors…hehehhe i didnt expect that orbs come in different colors heheheh….

i really wonder what does that mean…..

if anybody knows what that means dont hesitate to leave a message

tnx in advance 

sadness endeavours the light in your bright sunny day

something on my mind

and it brings me in to a new dimension

and it is sadness

it really do make you sick 

really makes you to end your life

but ..

if you think hard enough

sadness is only the beginning

maybe im only 16

but i can tell what sadness do to me

if you’ll live on sadness you’ll see only the darkness of all the things here on earth

being sad is like living in a picture of black and white where you only see the shades of all the colors

where it brings you to another world… and it is depression

i merely fall from from so called depression when we broke up(with that someone)

IT MAde me hate everything that reminds me of that….

but then you have to see beyond and look at the world differently

then, only then will you see that sadness makes the storm comes even if its summer

just like as it endeavours the light out your bright sunny day!  .

a glimpse from my lens

my flipflop and cellcase…. i scribble my name on the sand before we leave the beach of matabungkay batanggas…

 i did enjoy the beach but knowing that the day will end and eventually we will go home…

a day at the beach

the sun

the sand

the memories

it will stay deep down in my heart

someting to look forward to when every body turns you down

the nothingness

this is the key to uncertainty

its whether you’ll think of good things or bad things

thats why i take pictures of things with no meaning

a picture of nothingness

coz i want you and everyone else to give the meaning of their own

coz for me pictures are the image of anything

that anyone can relate even if its not their face that’s on the picture

hahay lecture ba ito!!!

sa lahat ng photographers and photo enthusiast

this post is all my ideas and beliefs 

after all theirs a freedom in writing diba  

get away with friends

haaaaay saya talaga kakulitan ng mga kaclaze eventhough nde kame komple to we have the best out of it@!!! naku talaga naman kahit na mainet nde kme nagpaawat sa pagbababad sa pool!!! hahaha no wonder that we all came home with a tan and sunburned skin!! hahaha

sayang lang talaga kse kala namen lhat kme makakasama haaaazzzzz pero kahit gnun masaya kme with so much to eat… great companion…. a bottle of liquor… bread

 now im starting to be lonely

but still those memories will be inside my heart and here in my blog

dun sa basa nito na kaclaze ko (nde cla nakasama) mainggit nlng 

school days… over and out

ang kapatusan ay susundan ng isang bagong umpisa….

last april 7, naghiwahiwalay na kme ng mga kaklaze ko na 44 years ko na nakasama….

kakalungkot nga ehh… nakakamiss na ung mga kulitan azaran at kung anu anu pa… pero may outing pa naman kme sa 16 ehh sana nga makasama ko….

grabe nakakamis pumasok… nakakamis ung nga teacher… nga kaclaze nga kulitan at kung anu anu pa…

last na proj. nmen todo bonding sobra !!! kze dalawang play un kahit na nakakapagod… kahit na maraming abirya  natapos parin namen…. khit na medyo may tahedya sa batch namen nakamuv on parin kame…. sana nga nde kami mawalan ng communication… para akztig parin forever…..

orbs please !!

alam nu ba ???

ang mga orbs na nakikita sa pix

ay isang charge kapag may charge, may magnetic field mas malaking orb mas malaking force…  at ang nga force na ito ay ang naiiwan ng nga taong nangamatay na…

kita nu yun ibig sabihin dito sa may cimbahan  madaming forces or lets say "spirits"

hehehe

nde ko naman gusto manakot sa post kong to

para lng nde kayo magtaka kung ano ung nagaapear sa screen nyo para naman sa susunod alam nyo na hindi marumi ang lente mu  hahaha

diba mas enjoi ang pagpipikture lalo na kung alam mu na hindi lng nga buhay ang nakakapiktyur mu

hahah

waiting…

sometimes waiting is really hard to do, especially when you’re waiting for someone who promised to be there but didnt actually shown up

even though there are moments like that, we have to be patient.. even if it’ll take years and years…

but there are conflicts in waiting,,, as we know, time is precious,we should use it wisely coz we can’t roll back time…

time and waiting… how could we deal with it…

how could we wait for someone without losing time…

 :i

WE CAN finish everything

its hard to finish things if your alone   

i know everybody knows it but there is somthing i learn this past few months
 

i really love  to do things on my own

but now my classmates taught me something that changed allot in me.. 

way back then i always say " let me, coz i can’

but now i have removed it out of my vocabulary

coz somehow i blended with reality

and reality is being with anyone that could be your companion

its just like saying

"dude nde ka si super man , x-men kea tayo!!!"

May kasama ka parati d ka nagiisa 

saying thank you and sorry

earlier this day, we have conducted a recollection  the most memorable part of it is the activity where we can say thank you and sorry to each and every one

we realized that the ten months that we shared together are so jam packed with meaningful encounters,

but then ten months really is short, and for us its to "biten" nakakainis nga ehhh ,

it seems like we dont want to graduate this march. It was a sort of  a flash back,

we reminisce the days of happiness and sadness its quite a tiring day but its fun,

lam mu un!!! even though it is not totally stated but youll feel that you really do matter to them….hehehehe

here are some pix

s palos at si kaltok!!!

ako c paltos  at xa  si pokahontas dun sa tabi ng bangin!!!  

im a loser… and i always be

no one can explain this better but a loser like me 

well its hard to be one coz you’ll never be familiar to it…
maybe i may have a good start in anything but then it ends as awful as it can be

well i am not a loser in all of the things
im a loser in just one thing

and it is love…
its hard to lose in love
coz when you lose

you lose all of your heart

especially when you love whole heartedly

i dont know why people want to love when all they find is hardships

yeah.. i am a loser
i always lose in love
can i someday be winner loser
or will i always be a loser?

foolling my self to be happy…..

im am happy because of someone
because that someone is whom i love but then

am i really loved by that someone
or im just fooling my self and making some space in "someone’s" heart
eventhough i am just no body to "******"

maybe im just worthless

maybe im a fool

maybe im just a freaking nitwit staring in front of  "******", waiting to have some attention….

maybe im just making my self happy

(am i?)

beginnings and endings

life began since our mother gave birth to us….

since then our life goes on and on….

in some paths in our life there are  some people that we meet and they help us but then endings are essential to all begginings

its either the end of one phase of your journey and the end of your friendship or it will just be the end a phase of our journey and the continuation of your friendship…

beginnings and endings are essential in our journey but it is our choice to finsh friendship or to continue what you have started with others….

we are beings that are created with mind to think and for that, we are made to make decisions 

so we have to be smart and wise 

learning and loosing

Life is a gamble
a game of chance
no one  can tell if its your time to win or not…
you can assume but be ready for the outcome of it

don’t be such a fool as i am
dont give your heart to a person who you love
but instead just give your trust para matalo ka man di ka luge

hahahahahaha that is what i have learned this past few days
love isnt fun even though its  tempting, love when you are sure that the one you love truly loves you coz its hard to be in a relationship that the one you love doesnt relly loves you at all.